Frustration with a captial F

Today was a bit tougher. I think I started to really feel completely useless. There I spent most of the day painting the ladies finger and toe nails. I loved doing that, and the ladies seemed to like it. Shame theres nothing equivalent for the lads! Anyway, there was a lady on the 4th floor - Charmain, the girl we gave knitting needles to (I can't remember if I've mentioned her before) and she's quite bossy and demanding, so there aren't many people who have time for her. But she has no one. She hasn't spoken to her husband or children for years and the only family she has left is a drunk of a brother, so she gets no visitors and because she's quite vocal about her concerns, the nurses tend to avoid her. But all she wants is company (and sweets) so I tried to sit with her today as much as I could. She was really down today though because she's in a lot of pain and her matress has been put on the floor because she fell off the bed yesterday.
While I was talking to her, the nurses came in and re-dressed her bed sores. They are awful---they are like actual holes in her body, with black bits stuck in them. The nurses just shouted at her because she had pooed in the bed, and didn't call for a nurse. But she has constipation and can't always tell when she really needs it. Anyway, apparently she can't have ART yet because her liver is failing (it really is...her eyes are all yellow). But she's getting really frustrated without it. She speaks perfect English but not much Zulu, again why the nurses don't spend much time with her. I think she has all her cognitive capacities. Shes quite young (38) and just seems to really understand and communicate very well. But anyway, she started saying that she wants to die today. She said that she can't eat, or sleep or even cry and is in so much pain but cannot move at all. And theres absolutely nothing I can do for her. Shes not long for this world really, but the condition she's in just now, thats probably for the best. And I cannot believe that I actually believe that. I told her to stay strong and positive, but if I was in her place, I don't think I could. The girl in the bed across from her died over the weekend. She was really young and on Friday she was moaning a lot and in masses of pain, so its good that shes at peace now. I just wish Charmains last days could be a bit more comfortable. I'm going to buy her a hat tomorrow because she is always freezing. They have to keep all the windows open to keep the TB from being too infectious apparently. Its not much, but its about all I can do right now. Feel like punching a wall at the moment though. Anyway, lets hope tomorrow is a bit more positive.

Add reaction

Name *:
E-mail *:	(will not be visible)
Content *:
Anti spam *:	Type the code on the left in the box below